The Power of Habit 2/5: Running for Solitude & Avoiding the Noise

Last week I explained the link between habits, values, & routines from a psychological perspective, & how each are intertwined. The second part of my series will provide an understanding of my value of solitude, & how the 'keystone' habit of running has helped me to avoid the noise of life, & dial in to my deepest thoughts. Life is noisy, but solitude has provided perspective, insight, & focus in some of my biggest decisions. It has also connected me to nature in a way that is often hidden from the noise.

1. The Battle of Noise Vs Solitude

Life is noisy! Noisy in that today we are constantly distracted. Turn on the news & there's noise. Go to work & there's noise. Scroll on social media & there's mountains of noise. Wherever you turn there is someone or something who's the sole purpose in life is to get your attention. The result, if you allow it, is overwhelming chaos & hysteria, which isn't healthy. In fact, its draining, & many of us don't have practices that help us to positively recharge, decompress, & reconcile ourselves, to tune in to the still small voice that helps to keep us grounded. The noise makes it almost impossible to hear! Which is why I value solitude as a frequent practice to drown out the noise.

Solitude means 'the state of being alone, often by choice'. Which is contrast to loneliness, where the choice has been removed. Ryan Holiday distinguishing the two, quotes how 'one can be alone, in their own company, & feel entirely connected & at peace with the world, just as one can be in a crowd & feel miserably lonely' (Epictetus). I have noticed that the longer the noise is allowed to dominate, the more unsettled I become, & henceforth agitated & difficult to live with. I become like a caged animal, which is usually when my wife tells me to set aside some time to recharge & rediscover, what the Stoics, called their 'inner citadel'. Marcus Aurelius noted how 'nowhere can you go is more peaceful - more free of interruptions - than your own soul' (Meditations).

The power of solitude is the liberty it provides to reconnect with yourself & your interests, without 'concern for the needs & demands of others' (Sharpe). The older I get the more I prefer my own company. When time is limited I have discovered that the best way for me to spend it, is alone! As someone who is usually responsible for organising time spent with my friends, there is great effort required to nail down dates, locations, & events that everyone is happy with. I become bound by the desires, capabilities of others! I have become increasingly aware that if I go alone, I have the liberty to move & choose as I desire. In this I find I'm most content. Epictetus observed how being content in your own company is foundational to being happy around others also (Discourses). I learned early on that for me to be the best father, colleague, husband etc., I need to be intentional in recharging my own soul.

For a long time I thought the only way to recharge was to escape to some far away place, away from all people, to discover the happiness I longed for. The reason we go on holidays or escape to the mountains is for the sole purpose of recharging from the noise! However, how often do we return, only to quickly forget the tranquility we experienced, looking frantically to book that next BIG trip away? Marcus Aurelius challenged this mentality when he noticed that 'people try to get away from it all—to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within'. (Meditations). I have only recently began to understand that my mental wellbeing is not hinged on whether or not I have a mountain day, or holiday booked in my calendar. Instead, solitude can be discovered in amongst the noise, which is when I discovered running.

2. Runners High, Myth or Reality?

For many years I hated running. In fact, I would avoid it at all costs. I heard the common phrase of a 'runners high', & wondered how anyone could find enjoyment, let alone tranquility in it!. Often times I perceived running as a lung bursting, nausea inducing, sweaty activity that destroys your knees. That is because I believed that running was where you ran as fast as you can, to lower those arbitrary times off Strava. With a strategy like this the only internal discussion goin on 'is when will this run be over'! However, when I learned to slow it down & instead focus on developing endurance, I began running further & further with little stress on my lungs & limbs. I began to enjoy it! Moreover, I noticed as my HR lowered, my mind was free to wonder elsewhere. To the point where I would sometimes forget that I was running. Could this be the runners high I heard so much about?

I began to look forward to running on a consistent basis because It allowed me to tune in to my still small voice in a way that I had not experienced. The steady early morning runs, with no sound other than the sound of my breath & feet hitting the floor, induced a clarity of mind & ability to focus my thoughts on what was important. Running has helped me to rediscover & re-channel my soul in a way that has not only helped me to make some big decisions, but also refocus how I spend my time. No longer do I need a holiday to find tranquility or solitude. I can find it at 6:30am on a run straight from my front door.

Interestingly, unbeknown to me I have been able to connect with nature in a way that has surprised me. With my rhythms the early morning is best for me. There are no people. I have no music. The only sound I have is my own breath, the birds, the sound of water or rain, & the odd deer bouncing through the trees. Moreover, on a long run, & when I truly experience the runners high, my body tunes almost primitively in to every sound that nature provides. Chris McDougal notes in his famous book, Born to Run, how humans are designed to move. We are designed physiologically with straight spines & upright shoulders for sole purpose of hunting prey or escaping from predators. Is there any reason that when you channel that primitive nature to run your other senses become alive?

The great sense of solitude from running consistently has not only changed my life, but transformed my whole perspective. A consistent (early morning) runner will become an expert of the seasons. I have become uniquely attuned to the rising of the sun, recognising every single minute the sun changes from spring through to autumn. Looking forward to the dark head torch season, so I can truly appreciate the sun when it comes back in the spring. Moreover, watching closely how the leaves turn, the wild life alters, & things die or spring forth new life, as we move through each season. My early morning running has literally given me a front row seat to natures magnificent show.

Summary

I no longer need a holiday planned, or a mountain day in the calendar to find solitude & inner peace from the noise & stresses of everyday life. I simply need an alarm clock, a pair of running shoes, & in the summer a pair of shorts (no t-shirts allowed). The consistent habit of running has provided me with a channel to refocus, realign myself, & rediscover what's important. Throughout the week I can discover what once cost thousands of pounds in flights, or hours spent on the motorway to 'get away' from the noise. I am more happy than I have ever felt. Why? Because I am content in my own company (Epictetus). Like Aurelius said, I have valued tending to my 'inner citadel', helping to keep me grounded. I am no longer distracted by the noise. Instead, I am acutely aware of what my still small voice is saying.

My value of solitude & habit of running is what has helped me. It has reduced my anxiety & given me perspective. Are you tending to your inner citadel? Are you spending time doing something you love (regularly) to avoid the noise & tune in to your still small voice? If not, what habits can you adopt that will help you to refocus & rediscover what's important? When we simply go through the motions, & fail to decompress from the noises of life we quickly lose track on what is important. Holidays & days out are great. But they shouldn't determine what hinges our emotional wellbeing. Why not develop some new skills to help you find solitude & be content on your own. It may well set you on a new path, giving you a sense of perspective that you need.

Much love,

Ross